coochie 3.19R.bat

rem The Change Log!!
rem Added:
rem 	added more test questions (2)
rem 	added askexit to test
rem 	added a check for touchscreen, if you ran the script with admin. (#10)
rem 	added more separation between certain features and stuff
rem 	added a note to the option of touchscreen (options)
rem 	added a secrect count
rem 	added a basic calulator
rem 	added more features to system info (#16)
rem 	added askexit into more places
rem Removed:
rem 	removed 3 lines that tell you have to run the script with admin, as it is no longer needed.
rem 	removed /b from the exit in askexit because what good does it do?
rem Improved/Changed:
rem 	changed "select a NUMBER! " > "select a number: " (#17)
rem 	changed touchscreen from immediantly exiting on user clicking a key, to redirecting to askexit
rem 	improved system info 
rem 	renamed "computer info" to "system info" (options)
rem 	fixed a grammar error in askexit
rem Bug Fixes
rem 	nothing
rem Notes
rem 	the tree "hacking" randomly freezes for a second sometimes, this is normal.(#9)
rem 	got anything to suggest? select #17 in the script for my socials!
rem 	all secrects need internet.
rem Secrect Count: 12
rem Dev Notes (to myself)
rem 	nothing

rem enjoy the script!
@echo off
:checkuac
echo checking for admin perms..
net session >nul 2>&1
if %errorLevel% neq 0 (
    set uac=false
) else (
    set uac=true
)
:urmomshouse
cls
echo 0. exit
echo 1. kid*
echo 2. random number 1-65000
echo 3. clean the files..
echo 4. kill certain process
echo 5. open my website*
echo 6. dvd screensaver*
echo 7. my repo version selector*
echo 8. explode*
echo 9. do some "haking"
echo 10. test
echo 11. clones of your mother*
echo 12. some internet advice*
echo 13. joke of the day*
echo 14. fun fact*
echo 15. le troubleshooting console
echo 16. system info
echo 17. socials*
echo 18. touchscreen on/off (needs admin!)
echo 19. basic calculator
echo * means the feature needs internet!
set /p wow="choose your fate: "

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

if "%wow%"=="0" (
    echo bye
) else if "%wow%"=="1" (
	cls
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/child.png' -OutFile '%temp%\child.png'"
	echo                                                     we open file now
    start %temp%\child.png
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\child.png"
) else if "%wow%"=="2" (
	cls
    set /a random_number=%random% * 65000 / 32768 + 1
    echo your random number is: %random%
	goto askexit
) else if "%wow%"=="3" (
	cls
	echo it is recommended to run this script as admin before doing this.
	echo click any button to continue, or close out of the script..
	pause >nul
    taskkill /f /im ccleaner64.exe
    taskkill /f /im ccleaner.exe
    del /f /q "C:\Program Files (x86)\Microsoft\EdgeUpdate\*"
    del /f /q "C:\Program Files (x86)\Microsoft\Temp\*"
    del /f /q "C:\Users\chicken\AppData\Local\SquirrelTemp\*"
    del /f /q "C:\Program Files (x86)\BraveSoftware\Update\*"
    del /f /q "%temp%\*"
	del /f /q "%localappdata%\Discord\Packages\SquirrelTemp\*"
	del /f /q "C:\Windows\SystemTemp\*"
	del /f /q "%localappdata%\SquirrelTemp\*"
	del /f /q "C:\Windows\Temp\*"
	del /f /q "C:\Windows\WinSxS\Temp\*"
	del /f /q "%localappdata%\cache\*"
	timeout /t 1 >nul
	cls
	echo you can close this window now.
    start ccleaner.exe /AUTO
	cls
	echo you can close this window now.
	cleanmgr /sagerun
	cls
	echo you can close this window now.
) else if "%wow%"=="4" (
	cls
	goto pid
) else if "%wow%"=="5" (
	echo great choice!
	start http://chicken.bulletinbay.com
) else if "%wow%"=="6" (
	cls
	echo This screensaver uses PYTHON! Make sure you have it installed!
	echo The screensaver is located in your user folder.
	if exist "%homepath%\dvd-screensaver-x86.scr" (
		echo file already exists my friend!
	) else (
		echo we download cuz it doesnt already exist womp womp
		echo this download will take about 15 seconds
		powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'https://github.com/lemonyte/dvd-screensaver/releases/download/v1.0.1/dvd-screensaver-x86.scr' -OutFile '"%homepath%\dvd-screensaver-x86.scr'"
	)
	echo starting the screen saver..
	"%homepath%\dvd-screensaver-x86.scr" /S
) else if "%wow%"=="7" (
	start http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/repo.html
) else if "%wow%"=="8" (
    cls
    echo pluh
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/catexplode.gif' -OutFile '%temp%\catexplode.gif'"
    start %temp%\catexplode.gif
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\catexplode.gif"
	shutdown -h
) else if "%wow%"=="9" (
	color 2
	cd C:\
	cls
	echo starting hack...
	timeout /t 2 >nul
	tree
	echo EXIT: 1
	pause >nul
	echo what a fucking joke you are!!
) else if "%wow%"=="10" (
    cls
	echo test incoming!
    goto test
) else if "%wow%"=="11" (
    cls
	echo get prepared to see many clones of your mother!
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/mom.gif' -OutFile '%temp%\mom.gif'"
    start %temp%\mom.gif
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\mom.gif"
) else if "%wow%"=="12" (
	cls
    echo getting your life advice
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'https://api.adviceslip.com/advice' -OutFile '%temp%\fortune.json'"
    powershell -Command "(Get-Content '%temp%\fortune.json' | ConvertFrom-Json).slip.advice"
    del "%temp%\fortune.json"
	echo click any key to exit..
    pause >nul
) else if "%wow%"=="13" (
	cls
    echo heres a joke for you!!11!
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'https://official-joke-api.appspot.com/random_joke' -OutFile '%temp%\joke.json'"
    powershell -Command "(Get-Content '%temp%\joke.json' | ConvertFrom-Json).setup"
	timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "(Get-Content '%temp%\joke.json' | ConvertFrom-Json).punchline"
    del "%temp%\joke.json"
	echo click any key to exit..
    pause >nul
) else if "%wow%"=="14" (
    cls
    echo getting a fun fact
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'https://uselessfacts.jsph.pl/api/v2/facts/random?language=en' -OutFile '%temp%\fact.json'"
    powershell -Command "(Get-Content '%temp%\fact.json' | ConvertFrom-Json).text"
    del "%temp%\fact.json"
	echo click any key to exit..
    pause >nul
) else if "%wow%"=="15" (
	cls
	echo this is literally just a command prompt window
	echo it will not close even on error, which is why i called it "le troubleshooting console"
	echo it only closes when killed, or closed by user.
	cmd /k
) else if "%wow%"=="16" (
	cls
	echo system information:
	echo =========================
	echo computer name: %computername%
	echo user folder: %homedrive%%homepath%
	echo processor architecture: %processor_architecture%
	echo system drive: %homedrive%
	echo number of processor cores: %number_of_processors%
	echo os version: %os%
	echo username: %username%
	echo local date/time: %date% %time%
	echo =========================
	timeout /t 1 >nul
	echo click any key to continue
	pause >nul
	goto askexit
) else if "%wow%"=="17" (
    cls
    goto socials
) else if "%wow%"=="18" (
	cls
	goto tmenu
) else if "%wow%"=="19" (
	goto calculator
)
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:: you are now in terretory of the secrects! :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
else if "%wow%"=="e" (
	cls
	echo      ooh.. secrect??
	timeout /t 5 >nul
	cls
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/strawberryfull.jpg' -OutFile '%temp%\chicken.jpg'"
	echo                                                     we open file now
    start %temp%\chicken.jpg
	cls
	echo       do you like my chicken????
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\chicken.jpg"
) else if "%wow%"=="horn" (
	cls
	echo      ooh.. secrect??
	timeout /t 1 >nul
	powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/horn.mp3' -OutFile '%temp%\horn.mp3'"
	timeout /t 1 >nul
    start wmplayer "%temp%\horn.mp3" /min
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	taskkill /f /im wmplayer.exe
	cls
	del "%temp%\horn.mp3"
) else if "%wow%"=="sigma" (
	cls
	echo      ooh.. secrect??
	timeout /t 1 >nul
	powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/sigma.jpg' -OutFile '%temp%\sigma.jpg'"
    start %temp%\sigma.jpg
	cls
	timeout /t 5 >nul
	del "%temp%\sigma.jpg"
) else if "%wow%"==" " (
	cls
	echo      ooh.. secrect??
    timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/skibity.jpg' -OutFile '%temp%\skibity.jpg'"
    start %temp%\skibity.jpg
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\skibity.jpg"
) else if "%wow%"=="crack" (
    cls
    echo      ooh.. secrect??
    timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/cracker.jpg' -OutFile '%temp%\cracker.jpg'"
    start %temp%\cracker.jpg
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\cracker.jpg" 
) else if "%wow%"=="fart" (
    cls
    echo      ooh.. secrect??
    timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/fart.gif' -OutFile '%temp%\fart.gif'"
    start %temp%\fart.gif
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\fart.gif"
) else if "%wow%"=="" (
	cls
	echo wow! a secrect!
    timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/code.jpg' -OutFile '%temp%\code.jpg'"
    start %temp%\code.jpg
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\code.jpg"
) else if "%wow%"=="crime" (
	cls
    echo      ooh.. secrect??
    timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/crime.jpg' -OutFile '%temp%\crime.jpg'"
    start %temp%\crime.jpg
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\crime.jpg"
) else if "%wow%"==":3" (
	cls
    echo      ooh.. secrect??
    timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/wtf.gif' -OutFile '%temp%\wtf.png'"
    start %temp%\wtf.png
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\wtf.png"
) else if "%wow%"=="SHUT UP YOU'RE :clover:" (
	cls
	echo      ooh.. secrect??
	echo	  you shouldn't even know this exists without looking at the code but its ok 🥰 we love you my friend even though your gay
	timeout /t 1 >nul
	powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/SHUTUP.gif' -OutFile '%temp%\SHUTUP.gif'"
	start %temp%\SHUTUP.gif
	cls
	timeout /t 5 >nul
	del "%temp%\SHUTUP.gif"
) else if "%wow%"=="table" (
    cls
    echo      ooh.. secrect??
    timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/table.gif' -OutFile '%temp%\table.gif'"
    start %temp%\table.gif
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\table.gif"
) else if "%wow%"=="gas" (
	cls
	color 6
	echo      ooh.. secrect??
    timeout /t 1 >nul
    powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/gas.gif' -OutFile '%temp%\gas.gif'"
    start %temp%\gas.gif
    cls
    timeout /t 5 >nul
    del "%temp%\gas.gif"
) else (
    cls
    echo ur fate is invalid hahahahahhaheiruydgohoiugusdf
	echo i will send you back to the main menu!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
	goto urmomshouse
)
exit
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:: you are now in terretory of the other complicated features! :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:pid
echo this will also kill any subprocesses.
set /p proc="input a pid or process name to kill: "
taskkill /f /im %proc% >nul
taskkill /f /pid %proc% >nul
exit
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:test
echo ready?
timeout /t 1 >nul
echo (click any key to continue)..
pause >nul
cls
echo 1. saturn
echo 2. uranus
echo 3. moon
echo 4. earth
set /p planet="which planet has the most moons? "
if "%planet%"=="1" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else if "%planet%"=="saturn" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else (
	cls
	echo wrong!!!!
	pause
	exit
)
echo 1. seagull
echo 2. dog
echo 3. chicken
echo 4. cat
set /p pluh="what animal do i like? "
if "%pluh%"=="3" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else if "%pluh%"=="chicken" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else (
	cls
	echo wrong!!!!
	echo click anything to exit
	pause >nul
	exit
)
echo 1. hitler
echo 2. trump
echo 3. ice cream biden
echo 4. all of the above
echo 5. none
set /p politics="what poletition do i like? "
if "%politics%"=="1" (
	cls
	echo what is your problem?
	echo click anything to exit
	pause >nul
	exit
) else if "%politics%"=="5" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else if "%politics%"=="none" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else (
	cls
	echo wrong!!!!
	echo click anything to exit
	pause >nul
	exit
)
echo 1. heads
echo 2. tails
set /p headstails="heads.. or tails? "
if "%headstails%"=="2" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else if "%headstails%"=="tails" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else (
	echo wrong!!!!
	echo click anything to exit
	pause >nul
	exit
)
echo nothing is impossible
echo 1. true
echo 2. false
set /p possible="true or false? "
if "%possible%"=="2" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else if "%possible%"=="f" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else if "%possible%"=="false" (
	cls
	echo your correct!!!!
	timeout /t 3 >nul
	cls
) else (
	echo wrong!!!!
	echo click anything to exit
	pause >nul
	exit
)
cls
echo you passed!
echo great job!
echo theres more coming soon..
timeout /t 1 >nul
goto askexit
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:socials
cls
echo these are *most* of my socials.
echo 0. exit
echo 1. discord
echo 2. telegram
echo 3. youtube
echo 4. twitter
echo 5. roblox
echo 6. minecraft
echo 7. my site
echo 8. go back to main menu
set /p s="select a number: "
if "%s%"=="0" (
	echo ok
	exit
) else if "%s%"=="1" (
	start https://discord.com/users/841797623270342717
) else if "%s%"=="2" (
	start https://t.me/ch1ck3mm
) else if "%s%"=="3" (
	start https://youtube.com/@thyrandomchicken
) else if "%s%"=="2" (
	start https://twitter.com/ch1ck3m
) else if "%s%"=="5" (
	start https://roblox.com/users/1343740658/profile
) else if "%s%"=="6" (
	start https://namemc.com/profile/ch1ck3m
) else if "%s%"=="7" (
	start http://chicken.bulletinbay.com
) else if "%s%"=="8" (
	cls
	goto urmomshouse
) else (
	echo invalid number.
	echo click any key to continue back to the menu.
	pause >nul
	goto socials
)
exit
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
setlocal EnableDelayedExpansion
:tmenu
cls
if "%uac%"=="false" (
    echo you did not start the script as admin!
    echo touchscreen features will be restricted until you start the script as admin.
    goto askexit
) else if "%uac%"=="true" (
    echo you have admin!
    echo continuing..
    timeout /t 1 >nul
	cls
) else (
	echo something happened.. not sure what!
    goto askexit
)

echo this may or may not work for you, but for almost basically everybody it SHOULD work.
echo 0. exit
echo 1. enable touchscreen
echo 2. disable touchscreen
set /p touch="enter choice: "

if "%touch%"=="0" (
    exit
) else if "%touch%"=="1" (
    cls
    echo enabling touchscreen..
    powershell -Command "try { Get-PnpDevice -FriendlyName 'HID-compliant touch screen' | Enable-PnpDevice -Confirm:$false } catch { if ($_.Exception.HResult -eq 0x80041001) { Write-Host 'failed to enable touchscreen. did you run this script as admin?' } else { throw $_ } }"
    powershell -Command "try { Get-PnpDevice -FriendlyName '*touchscreen*' | Enable-PnpDevice -Confirm:$false } catch { if ($_.Exception.HResult -eq 0x80041001) { Write-Host 'failed to enable touchscreen. did you run this script as admin?' } else { throw $_ } }"
    powershell -Command "try { Get-PnpDevice -FriendlyName '*touch screen*' | Enable-PnpDevice -Confirm:$false } catch { if ($_.Exception.HResult -eq 0x80041001) { Write-Host 'failed to enable touchscreen. did you run this script as admin?' } else { throw $_ } }"
    echo if you got no error, then touchscreen should be enabled!
    timeout /t 1 >nul
	goto askexit
) else if "%touch%"=="2" (
    cls
    echo disabling touchscreen..
    powershell -Command "try { Get-PnpDevice -FriendlyName 'HID-compliant touch screen' | Disable-PnpDevice -Confirm:$false } catch { if ($_.Exception.HResult -eq 0x80041001) { Write-Host 'failed to disable touchscreen. did you run this script as admin?' } else { throw $_ } }"
    powershell -Command "try { Get-PnpDevice -FriendlyName '*touchscreen*' | Disable-PnpDevice -Confirm:$false } catch { if ($_.Exception.HResult -eq 0x80041001) { Write-Host 'failed to disable touchscreen. did you run this script as admin?' } else { throw $_ } }"
    powershell -Command "try { Get-PnpDevice -FriendlyName '*touch screen*' | Disable-PnpDevice -Confirm:$false } catch { if ($_.Exception.HResult -eq 0x80041001) { Write-Host 'failed to disable touchscreen. did you run this script as admin?' } else { throw $_ } }"
    echo if you got no error, then touchscreen should be disabled!
	timeout /t 1 >nul
	goto askexit
) else (
    echo invalid choice
    echo click anywhere to go back
    pause >nul
    goto tmenu
)
endlocal
exit
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:calculator
cls
echo basic calculator:
set /p expr="enter expression: "
set /a result=%expr%
echo result: %result%
echo click any key to continue
pause >nul
goto askexit
::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
:askexit
set /p askexit="would you like to go back to the main menu? (y/n): "
if "%askexit%"=="y" (
	goto urmomshouse
) else (
	exit
)
exit
rem end of script

rem #################### this is for creating secrects (its the secrect template!!1!) ####################
rem cls
rem echo      ooh.. secrect??
rem timeout /t 1 >nul
rem powershell -Command "Invoke-WebRequest -Uri 'http://chicken.bulletinbay.com/data/' -OutFile '%temp%\'"
rem start %temp%\
rem cls
rem timeout /t 5 >nul
rem del "%temp%\"
rem ######################################################################################################